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My 4 year old has grown-up :-(

Well, the 6 weeks is over. Personally, I’m not sure where it has gone! Maybe because today is a big day in our household, I am changing my baby travel systems because my baby is not such a baby anymore, I didn’t feel as joyous or as ready as I thought I would. The thing is both my girlies are now in full-time school. Lexi joins YR2, and little Gabriella has started ‘big school’.

If you’d read my last blog (which was before the holidays) you’ll have realised I’d found school dinners quite unnerving. But now the time has come that my youngest (my baby) and her little 4 year-old friends are all taking that next step in their little lives. Another chapter for us all.

Now, as I mentioned in my previous blog, I thought I’d be skipping out of school, in fact, I thought I’d be running out of those school gates so fast all you could see was lightening. So why is it as I sit here writing this, I feel lost and I can’t take away that sick feeling? You know, the heavy lump that sits in the bottom of your stomach when something is bothering you! I’m constantly checking the time. I’ve been making note of the time they’ll be having snack, lunch, and as I write this I only have an hour and half to go before pick-up. It can’t come quick enough.

It was worse with Lexi we moved her schools in the first week of her starting full-time school, due to us moving house. I didn’t sleep for a week, but she was absolutely fine and settled straight in. Gabriella has her older sister to make sure she’s okay too, so really I have nothing to worry about. I know this, and by next week I’ll be loving my free-time to write my books, expand my wedding business and generally do all the things I’ve been dreaming of for the past 6 years. But I miss them! Lexi cried last night because she was going to miss me, and she didn’t want me to be lonely. I’m not going to admit to her that I do feel pretty lonely today, because that would just upset her more. But there are so many of you out there feeling lonely too. We’ve shipped our little ones off to full-time school, my little lunch partner has gone, my little friend who I discussed everything with on an afternoon has all grown up.

I’m not so much worried whether she’ll settle, (especially as I was with Lexi) but I’m worrying about little things. One of my main concerns is the whole toilet thing … will she ask when she needs it? And mainly will she wipe herself properly when doing a No2!? I worried about the same thing with Lexi who is absolutely fine and she didn’t even think about it, just got on with it. Gabriella has a tendency to go off in her own little world, will she listen when asked a question? Or will she listen full-stop? Will she be okay in the lunch hall? And in the big playground after (even though Lexi’s there!) The thing I know the answer is ‘yes’. I know many of you reading this will be shouting ‘of course she’ll be fine.’ And I know. I really do know. I just wish that rock would move out of my stomach!

Another concern is ‘Does she know enough?’ Does she know what she should know for her age? Will she pick things up okay? It’s not about my girlies being the brightest in the class, it’s about making sure she is happy. Making sure she doesn’t feel as if she’s struggling. I don’t want her to feel under-pressure. I was talking to my sister-in-law about this and she sent me a fab link which you must look at if you have similar thoughts to me: What Should A 4 Year Old know? I’d loved it.

Anyway, now I’ve distracted myself writing this blog, time is marching on (thankfully) I’m going to go and distracted myself with editing book 3! The book 3 which should have been out by now. However, I’ve totally enjoyed the holidays with my girlies and I’m just truly grateful that I had the time to spend with them.

And to all you parents who are feeling like me, I’m with you … you’re not alone xx

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New Chapters for Little People

sports dayWell what a week it has been at Vic HQ. This week has been about little Gabriella. I’d never forget Lexi, who had a good week herself: school trips and glowing school report. *Beaming proud parents*  Her school trip was part of her R.E subject, so they visited a local church then finished off at the library to listen to a storyteller. Admittedly, I would have loved to have joined her. Although I write chick-lit/women’s fiction, I love children’s stories. Anyway, I couldn’t attend the school trip as it was Gabriella’s sports morning. So cute: little 3 & 4 year olds racing across the field, little smiles as we all clapped and cheered. But then the morning got even better. As parents we had the opportunity to buy raffle tickets. We had 10 tickets, and nearly every ticket came out. I had to keep telling the teacher to give someone else a chance. After Gabriella had picked a lovely little set; a fairies craft set, which will come in very handy in the summer, our tickets just kept coming out. Now, the bottle of red was waving at me, it obviously really wanted to come home with me! So after we were all laughing and joking, the red wine was given to us (and gratefully accepted) when it became embarrassing that our numbers kept coming out: you’d think we’d fixed it! Now because of this lucky streak, we stopped at the shop and put the lottery on, plus I picked up a scratch card. We didn’t win on the scratch card, however, there were 2 x £100,000 and 2 x £100. Now if this isn’t a sign that we are on a winning streak, then I don’t know what is. But it wasn’t the lottery, as we didn’t win on the Euro Millions. However, I’m a positive person so I’ll keep you posted on our lucky streak.

However, as I started saying this week has been about Gabriella. My little girl starts full-time school in September. I know there are many parents out there in the same boat as me, that’s why I felt the urge to write this blog. You see part of me, can’t wait … I mean that in the nicest possible way. I plan my working (writing, wedding website and marketing) around my girls. So my two hours on a morning and working late into the night, sometimes isn’t enough, so I keep thinking I’ll have more time to really get my teeth into my work, which does excite me. However, Tuesday evening was an introduction to FS2 (foundation stage 2), which was fine, Lexi had the FS2 teacher, who is lovely, so all is good there. Wednesday was trying out school dinners. We were allowed to go with them, parents were allowed to eat, which I didn’t (I’m still on with my Green Glowing Smoothie – if you haven’t read that blog, you really must) but Gabriella had a plate of pasta and cake, which she just thought was great. But as I watched all these little people carrying trays which were half the size of them, my heart swelled. Gabriella is one of the taller children, but still she looked like a little dot. I wanted to tell them she couldn’t move up just yet. Could we not just wait another year? I didn’t think I’d feel like this. Lexi was so ready to go to full-time school, and the only wobble I had with Lexi was when we changed her schools in her first week joining full-time school (because we moved house). That was horrendous, I came home and cried, and then rang her new school to make sure she was okay! But she was fine. She hasn’t looked back. And I know Gabriella will be the same. I keep joking about celebrating when they are both in full-time school, but I’m actually feeling quite sad about this new little chapter in our lives. I thought I’d be skipping out the school (and I may just do that, as we have 6 weeks off before then!) but at the moment, I can’t believe I’ll have two big girls, who have their own little lives. I won’t know what has happened in their lives every minute of every day, and Gabriella may forget everything that has happened, as Lexi does, but as long as their happy I suppose I have to be too.

Many of you may know that in some countries such as Sweden, Denmark and Finland, school doesn’t begin until the age of seven! And their results are better than ours! Visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7234578.stm to find out a little bit more. Although I’ve known this information I’ve always somewhat disagreed, being a Stay at Home Working Mum (SAHWM) I’ve been desperate to have my working hours during the day rather working until late into the night. But suddenly, this week feeling a little nostalgic and sad I’m starting to wonder if four is too young to start full-time school. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to start campagning or anything as drastic, but it may not be the champagne I’m getting out, but the wine to drown my sorrows!

Anyway, I have a week left (as do many of you) to do 11.30am pick-up. A week left of just me and Gabriella on an afternoon. So I’ll just have to find something special to do. And then do something with Lexi so she doesn’t feel left out! So to all mums out there who have a little one starting full-time school I’ll be thinking of you when we either come home and sob, or get the Champagne out. I thought I’d be the latter, but I think this week has just proved that may not be the case. However, I’ll keep you updated in September, if I’m not rocking in my chair after the school holidays 🙂

PHOTO CREDIT: earlydaysnursery.org.uk