Posted on Leave a comment

Is being a ‘yes person’ no good for you?

 

How many times have you said, ‘Yes’ to someone, when you really mean, ‘No’? And how many times has this stressed you out?

When we say, ‘Yes’ too many times, people can start taking advantage. Does this remind you of anyone?

Do you know of someone who says, ‘Yes’, when you know they mean, ‘No’?

This comes down to self-care. When you put others before yourself, you don’t allow yourself to grow. Sometimes we don’t have a choice, we have family commitments, work commitments and other commitments that must be fulfilled. However, there are times when we are asked to do something, and we feel we can’t say, ‘No’.

So we often say, ‘Yes’, and suffer the consequences of it interfering in our own lives. This can lead to resentment. This has a ripple effect that can lead to uncomfortableness within friendship and family groups.

Saying, ‘No’ is about setting personal boundaries. Once you know what your boundaries are, and others know what your boundaries are, they will have to respect this. It’s time to get rid of the guilt. Once you practice self-care, you’ll have more to give other people, and yes, sometimes this means saying, ‘NO!’

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others

Brene Brown

I felt the need to write about this subject, as it has been something I have struggled with myself. I was an all-around yes person! I’d fit people in, change plans for other people and end up in many situations helping others. I would bend over backwards to help anyone even at the detriment of myself. However, I’ve learnt to say ‘No’ – at first it was hard. I felt guilty. I felt I was letting people down, however, as time went on I realised those who care me, truly understand why I was saying no. This didn’t happen overnight … and even now, I can find myself in a situation and I think, am I being tested? Because I am a person who is full of love and I love helping people. However, I have to judge now whether there is too much implication on my own life. If I feel the situation doesn’t suit me, I simply say, no!

I judge the situation because sometimes, I say, ‘Yes’ and I mean it, but I feel happiness at saying yes.

You too, will feel happiness, if the ‘yes’ suits you. Our mind, body and soul, knows if a situation suits us. We know when we say, ‘Yes’ and we mean it! We also know the feeling of that dark cloud that comes over us when we say, ‘Yes’ but we mean, ‘No’: that frustration, irritation and disappointment. When we are experiencing those feelings, it’s time to draw on our boundaries, it’s time to draw a line of what we are willing to accept.

We can say, ‘Yes’ when we mean, ‘No’ for many reasons: we don’t want to appear selfish, we don’t want to let someone down, we don’t want to seem rude, we don’t want the person to feel rejected … but in the process of saying ‘Yes’, you are doing these things to yourself.

If you read my blog posts, you’ll know I always ask you to come from a place of ‘love’ – so you may ask yourself, ‘How can I be showing love if I’m saying no?’ But ask yourself this … ‘If you are feeling resentment, if you are feeling begrudged, how is that coming from a place of love?’ You are not showing love to the person in question and you are not showing love to yourself. So there’s not much love flowing here … and with the rule of the Law of Attraction, you will attract more resentment! It’s amazing how this works.

So this isn’t asking you to say, ‘No’ to everything and everyone, as I said, you will know when you truly mean ‘Yes!’ It feels good. You are then sending love.

So, if you have the courage, which I know you do, to say, ‘No’ and mean, ‘No’, you may feel guilty, you may feel you are letting that person down, but ask yourself what are you gaining from this? Give yourself a hug, be proud of your decision and know that you are sending love to yourself and in turn, this will spread to others … and guess what, you’ll attract more love to yourself.

So, I talked a lot about saying ‘Yes’ when we mean ‘No’ … however, there are times when we should be ‘Yes’ and we don’t!

Read here, how to turn-up & say Yes …

Say YES to yourself!

You can follow me on:

 

 

 

Posted on Leave a comment

5 Ways To Make Sure You Are Taking Advantage of Life’s Opportunities

Opportunities pass us by in life. It’s that simple. Sometimes we don’t even notice them, we dismiss them as an inconvenience. Often the opportunities we do recognise, we overthink the situation and they pass us by. We are embedded in our comfort zone and we are scared to move forward, so rather than grabbing an opportunity, we let it go.

Below, you can find ways to become more open to life’s opportunities. Open your mind, eyes and heart … watch the opportunities come to you once you allow them in.

1. VISUALISE THE OPPORTUNITY YOU WANT, THEN PAY ATTENTION!

Credit: Image by pixel2013 on Pixabay

We don’t all want the same things in life, it would be a boring world if we did. So think about the opportunities you’d like to be presented with; new job, more money, holiday, new relationship etc.

Visualising and believing you already have this opportunity is a great way to attract it to you. Know what you want and then open your eyes. Opportunities will soon present themselves to you: a promotion, a new job, meeting someone.

A great way to visualise is to write down your visions, dreams, goals etc. Even create a vision board; cut out pictures from magazines or download photos from the internet, paste them onto a board and imagine that you already have these opportunities.

You have to be clear in your mind what it is you want so that the universe can deliver these opportunities to you.

2. MAKE AN EFFORT TO CONNECT AND NETWORK WITH PEOPLE

Even if you’re not the most sociable of people, there are ways to connect with the outside world. If you work in a huge corporate company, there will be ways you can talk and build relationships with other people in different departments. Make conversations when you are in the lift or passing on the stairs. A smile can lead to a, ‘Hello’, to a, ‘Gosh, it’s cold outside’ … within weeks you could be having full-blown conversations about your lives. You never know who you are talking to, you never know where these conversations can lead to … an opportunity could arise and you could be in someone’s mind, simply because you are friendly.

If you don’t have the opportunity as above, building relationships professionally online is a great way to expand your network. LinkedIn is specially designed for business. Opportunities arise through such networks constantly, but it’s about building your own profile and looking out for these opportunities, to build your own business, since now a days you can even make your business online, delivering services or selling products, since there are resources like the Best ecommerce order fulfillment companies which help businesses delivering products to clients.

Even when you’re out and about; say for example you’re in a queue, strike up a conversation with the person in front of you, or compliment a stranger on something you notice. Again, you never know who you are speaking to, you never know what opportunities could arise. And, even if no opportunities come from these random conversations, you will feel good. Passing on the love to others; making them feel good will inevitably make you feel good. Your feel-good vibes will reflect out to the universe … and the universe will deliver more feel-good vibes back.

3. VOLUNTEER / JOIN A NEW CLUB 

Credit: Image by raw pixel on Pixabay

Are you passionate about something? Animals? Reading? Sewing? Exercise?

You could volunteer some of your time at a local project. There are plenty of projects looking for volunteers, from animal rescue places to vulnerable people projects. What makes you happy? You never know who else is volunteering. You never know the opportunities that can arise.

If the above doesn’t float your boat, how about joining a club; a book club, a running club or flower club, these are just examples. Set-up your own club if you can’t find something locally. You will be amazed at the type of people you will meet, and these meetings could lead to something bigger and better.

Credit: Image by rawpixel on Pixabay

4. SAY YES!

Sounds simple, right? But how many times have you said, ‘Yes,’ to something that makes you feel uncomfortable? How many times have you stopped yourself doing something because it scares you? Makes you nervous? How many times have you thought, ‘I wish I could, but I just can’t?’ This is where you have to let go of your inhibitions. Your barriers to opening up will be preventing opportunities coming your way. This is the time to take yourself out of your comfort zone and allow opportunities in.

5. SELL YOURSELF WHEREVER YOU GO!

Credit: Image by Geralt on Pixabay

Sound egotistical?

It doesn’t need to be. You don’t need to be conceited, you just need to be aware that you want people to think of you if an opportunity was to arise. For example; you want your boss to think of you when an opening for manager arises. Or even on a relationship level, you want Linda, from accounts, to think about you when her nephew becomes single.

It’s about being out there. It’s about others knowing about you. Selling yourself isn’t about talking all about YOU! YOU! YOU! It’s about interacting with others. Selling yourself is not only about your skills and abilities, it’s about your personality and character. Linda, from accounts, may like the idea that you’re not lazy and you’re very good at your job, but if you come across cold and insensitive, then you may be on her mind when her nephew is single, but it will be for the wrong reason! She’ll be keeping you far away.

Personality and character has much to do with success, in all areas of our lives. If people receive good vibes from yourself, they will automatically remember you. So wherever you go, smile, chat and be a bundle of light that people can’t forget.

Remember; the universe will deliver more light to you when you are shining yours.

You can read more about taking advantage of life’s opportunities here

You can follow me on:

Posted on 1 Comment

Turn up and say YES! A to Z Inspirational Blog; Y is for Yes with Motivational Quotes and Therapeutic Writing

A-Z Inspirational Journey 

This week’s inspirational word

Y is for YES

Let’s take Eckhart Tolle’s quote and say ‘yes’ to life. So, stop what you’re doing, (which is reading this post – and I thank and appreciate you for doing so, it means the world to me that you are taking time out to join me, it truly does) but, let’s just take a second to stop reading and say ‘yes’ to life.

Here’s a little exercise; stand-up, have a little jump about, give yourself a little shake, feel the vibrations running through your hands, legs and feet … then punch the air like you’ve just been told the most exciting news ever. When you punch the air, shout ‘YES!’ Repeat this until you feel the vibes in your body lighting up. Keep shouting, ‘YES!’ until you feel it! Until you feel the shift in your mind and soul. Feel the excitement.

Now, if you’re not feeling the ‘YES!’ If you’re feeling more on the ‘NO!’ side of things, let’s look at this. It’s ok to feel as if there are more ‘Nos’ than ‘Yeses’ in your life, but the key is to not dwell on the ‘Nos’ … the key is to turn the ‘Nos’ into ‘Yeses’, turn these ‘Nos’ into opportunities, see the challenges, take the learning and turn these life curveballs into ‘Yeses’.

You see, whatever your thoughts, the universe is mirroring that right back to you. So, if you see these ‘Nos’ ask yourself, why is this happening? What can I take from this experience? What can I learn? What can I do differently? Believe that this, ‘No’ has happened for a reason so that you can get your ‘Yes’. Believe in that ‘Yes’. Sometimes life is a mini roller-coaster (or a humongous gigantic one) whichever we have to say ‘Yes’ and turn up. Even on those days when we feel it is impossible to say, ‘Yes’.

One of the best ways we can turn our ‘Nos’ into ‘Yeses’ is through gratitude. You’ll have heard me say this before and that’s because it’s true. I turned my own life around by focuses on my ‘Yeses’. Many many many moons ago, before I discovered the Law of Attraction, before I started my spiritual path and before I started surrounding myself with positivity, I was the ‘Mood-Hoover’ you’d want to avoid. Now, don’t get me wrong there was much to be ‘mood-hoovering’ about … Jeez, was there ever! However, when I realised I could change my ‘Nos’ into ‘Yeses’ my life changed.

Once I started to turn up and shout, ‘YES!’ Once I sought the ‘Yeses’ I bought more ‘Yeses’ to me. This is one of the reasons I write my blog, because this stuff works! It really works guys! I want you to have the ‘Yeses’ in your life. I’m drawn to write weekly about inspiring you because I truly believe, I had to have my ‘Nos’ so I could turn them around into ‘Yeses’ and then spread the word that the Law of Attraction is always working, and the universe is always responding …  so if we concentrate on our ‘Nos’ we will get more ‘Nos’ – so turn those ‘Nos’ into ‘Yeses’.

Seek the ‘Yeses’ in life. Say ‘Yes’. Turn up. Because YOU GOT THIS

 

In this week’s therapeutic writing exercise let’s think about your present ‘Yeses’

You may still be in the ‘No’ mode at the moment but truly think about things that are good in your life.

Start by writing a gratitude list.

Take a small gratitude list; write down 20 things you appreciate in your life. When you’ve done this list, say each one aloud, then do the exercise at the beginning of this post; punch the sky and shout ‘YES!’ Do this repeatedly, every morning this week.

FEEL THE POWER OF SAYING YES! When you feel your yeses, you’ll receive more!

Love & happiness to you always

Victoria xx

 

 

Posted on 1 Comment

Express Yourself To Feel Alive – A to Z Inspirational Blog; X=Ex is for Express with Express Quotes and Therapeutic Writing

A-Z Inspirational Journey 

This week’s inspirational word

X = EX

EX is for EXPRESS

Being a creative person, I love this quote by Kat Von D. I’ve always expressed myself through writing. Even in my younger days, I would write stories to express my feelings about what was happening in my life, especially as a teen. Anyone else, remember those days? Hormones raging, everything in the world seemed against you, restrictions from parents, teachers … I don’t know about you, but my teenage years were just a battlefield! Battlefield of emotions, feelings and trying to understand the world … I had a lot of whys that couldn’t be answered … But to release all that pent-up frustration, I would write.

I would write in my diary, but I always found it easier and more comfortable to write in fictional form. I loved (and still love) creating stories but basing them on real-life events. I love expressing myself through writing. I express myself through writing these blog posts and my fiction. We all have a reason for being here, our reason is our passion … our passion is a way of expressing ourselves.

So ask yourself, how are you expressing yourself? Are you expressing yourself? Are you keeping yourself hidden and feeling trapped because you are not allowing yourself the freedom to express?

Once you start to express yourself through a creative source or other, express to rid yourself of negative demons and then you’ll feel more love.

If you are expressing yourself from your truth, from your inner being, from your soul, you can’t help but feel more love. Letting go and expressing yourself is allowing yourself to feel free, allowing yourself to enjoy life and be you! Once you are ‘being you’, you’ll feel lighter, you’ll feel more love for yourself. Feeling love for yourself helps to radiate that love onto others. Once you are expressing from a place of love. You’ll feel peace.

This all sounds lovely, I understand, you may think you haven’t got time to express yourself … well, if you are that person thinking this, then you are the person who NEEDS to express themselves the most. Expressing yourself through your inner desires is as good as meditating. Some people feel meditating is sitting, listening to soft music and allowing our thoughts to fade. Unfortunately, this has never worked for me. I have tried, but I find it hard to switch off. I always have some project or idea fighting its way forward. I do, however, find putting on more upbeat music, something that I can dance too or calmer music I can sing to does help to clear my thoughts. Gabrielle Bernstein has some amazing meditation music, advice and tips.

But the best way for me to clear my thoughts is through writing. Pen on paper, not thinking, just writing … hence, another reason I set-up this blog; to show others how to use therapeutic writing to help them reach their goals, dreams and desires. Free writing is a way of expressing yourself without thinking about what you are writing. Simply write. It’s a great way to express yourself and get all those emotions out.

Your thing may not be writing … but you will have a way of expressing yourself … don’t shy away from that. Get out there and get expressing. The world needs you to express. You need you to express yourself.

In this week’s exercise, we are going to put the therapeutic writing to the side … unless that is the way you express yourself.

As I mentioned above, writing may not be your ‘thing’, so this week sit for five minutes and think about what you love.

Ask yourself …

What do I love doing? What makes me feel alive? What makes me feel like I’m talking from my soul? How can I express myself?

Now go and do it … this week, go and express yourself … Remember, YOU GOT THIS!

Remember: Positive messages throughout the day, helps the negative thoughts stay away.

So be inspired daily with this

free inspirational guide

Love & happiness to you always

Victoria xx

Posted on 1 Comment

Are You Willing Enough To Achieve Your Goals? – A to Z Inspirational Blog; W is for Willing with Willingness Quotes and Therapeutic Writing

A-Z Inspirational Journey 

This week’s inspirational word

W IS FOR WILLING


It’s pretty obvious really that if we want something, we must be willing to put the effort in. Nobody can push us if we’re not willing to be pushed. Just like nobody should be able to stop us if we are willing to push ourselves. You may know from my posts that I’m certified in the Law of Attraction … the LOA says, to relax, to not stress, because you bring more stress to you. So sometimes you may be willing to do what it takes to achieve your goals, but you may be stressing yourself with your over-willingness, your panic and your need to succeed. The universe reflects these feelings back to you, which leads to frustration, as you feel no matter how willing you are, you’re on that treadmill and not getting anywhere.

So, your willingness to put the work in must come from a positive approach. Let go of the angst, the worry, the stress … know that the work you are putting in, your willingness to move your life forward will be reflected back to you. The sooner you think positive clear thoughts, believe and just know that all will be okay, the sooner it will be reflected back to you.

Sometimes we stop willing to succeed because of hurdles or barriers, but if your heart is pulling and your soul is telling you this is your purpose, then you must be willing to overcome any situation that may feel as if it’s holding you back. Often things happen because we need to look deeper into ourselves, or we need to look deeper into the situation, is it trying to tell us something. As you’ll know from my other posts, I truly believe everything happens for a reason, so we must be willing to look for the lessons in anything that steps in our way.

If our heart is telling us this is our purpose, this is our reason for being, then we must be willing to follow our hearts, and most importantly we must be willing to trust our journey. Trust that we are on the right path and that we must overcome obstacles to learn and move forward. We must always be willing to see the bigger picture. If you have that urge inside of you, if your heart and soul are telling you to follow your passions, you must be willing to do what it takes to get there. Through love, effort and belief, you will achieve.


In this week’s therapeutic writing exercise think about your willingness to learn

Do you feel as if you’re being held back? Are you focusing on the negatives? Are you losing your faith? If so, this exercise is perfect for you.

Write down, in list form, all the things that you feel are holding you back. All the things that you believe are stopping you from achieving. Now this could be a certain situation that has happened, or something you are focused on … which you should realise, if you’re focused on the barriers, you’re inviting more barriers …

Take one of the barriers and now freewrite about how you feel it has stopped you progressing … yes, I understand this is negative, however, understanding what is actually stopping you will help you see that it is your attitude that is stopping you, not the actual situation.

Ask yourself, (and write down) what have I gained from this situation (there will be something), what have you taken away that can help you develop as a person and with your goal.

To do this exercise, you must be willing to learn. You must be willing to find the reason behind these barriers, what can you gain from them, what can you do to improve your situation. You must be willing to look at the learning experience of anything that gets in your way, because you will be able to take something away that will help you progress and move forward.

Remember: Positive messages throughout the day, helps the negative thoughts stay away.

So be inspired daily with this

free inspirational guide

Love & happiness to you always

Victoria xx